A Guide to Speeches + Toasts
Photo Credit: Aria Studios
If you’ve ever attended a wedding, you know that the speech portion of the evening can either be super entertaining or… really boring. Since we like to do everything we can to ensure our client’s weddings are awesome, we’ve put together a guide to help you determine what speeches to include, who to ask, how to direct the people you ask to set them up for success AND what order to do them in.
Welcome Speech
The first speech you will want to consider is the welcome speech. Often this speech is given by the Father of the bride, since the bride’s family traditionally hosted the wedding (i e paid for it). Since we believe you only have to follow tradition when you want to, some other ideas you might consider would be:
Photo Credit: Stephen Ludwig Photography
Welcome from the newlyweds - These days many couples plan and pay for their wedding themselves. Since you would be the hosts in this case, it makes sense for you to welcome everyone to the party.
Person who introduced newlyweds - This is always a fun way to incorporate your love story into the wedding and also honor a special guest who may or may not be in your wedding party.
The parents on both sides - If both families pitched in to help pay for the wedding, it’s always nice to have them share the spotlight by contributing to the welcome speech. This works especially well if both sides plan on keeping their speech short and sweet.
The Emcee - If you and your families are too shy to give a speech and you’ve happened to hire an emcee you love, you can always ask them to welcome your guests on your behalf. We’ve even had an emcee give his own comedic rendition of the bride and groom’s love story which turned out to be a huge hit with the guests.
Since the welcome speech is in a way, a speech of honor and typically the only speech given before dinner begins, this one can be a bit longer than the rest. We suggest allocating 3-10 minutes for this one. Keep in mind, it never HAS TO BE long, but sometimes parents or special guests like to use this opportunity to share a few stories, well wishes and a welcome message to the guests.
Wedding Party (or other) Speeches
The second portion of speeches are traditionally given by the wedding party. If you don’t have a wedding party, having a representative from either side works just as well. In the past we’ve heard speeches from the Maid of Honor/ Best Man, bridesmaids or groomsmen, bridesmaids or groomsmen giving a speech together as a group, siblings, parents and close friends and/or family members. Be sure to choose people you think will be well spoken and comfortable speaking in front of a crowd.
As far as length and quantity goes, we find that 2-4 speeches between 3-5 minutes each is just right. We always recommend giving your designated speech givers a heads up on their time limit in advance. If there are any sensitive or off limit topics, it’s wise to let them know in advance as well.
If you find you can’t narrow your choices down to 4 or less speeches, you could consider breaking them up throughout the evening. If you are doing a plated meal, it’s nice to insert a speech between courses. If that isn’t an option, you can always consider asking some speakers to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner or to share their words of wisdom as part of the ceremony.
Photo Credit: Stephen Ludwig
One of the most important things we like to consider with speeches is their order. Our best tip is to start with the most shy and/ or sentimental speaker and end with the most articulate and/ or funniest speaker. That way no one has to go after the “crowd pleaser” and it helps build the crowd’s energy back up to get them in the dancing mood.
If you are thinking about winging it and offering an open mic for guests to give a toast after dinner, we suggest creating some guidelines in advance. First of all, it is helpful if you have an emcee to manage this. We find it is best if they make an announcement at the beginning of dinner, so any guests considering a toast can “sign up” to be introduced after dinner. This helps manage the number of speeches (you still want to stick to the 2-4 speech rule) and let’s the emcee weed out anyone who might have had too much to drink beforehand.
Regardless of if you plan your speakers out in advance or wing it, always remember that less is more and having no speeches is better than awkward or boring ones.
Newlywed Thank You Speech
Photo Credit: Stephen Ludwig Photography
The final speech you will want to consider is the Newlywed Thank You speech! This typically happens right after the wedding party speeches. We know not everyone is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd, but we highly recommend this one.
Whether you decide to write your Thank You speech in advance or do it off the cuff, there are a few elements that are always a good idea to consider. First be sure to thank your guests. Many of them likely traveled a long way and purchased you wedding gifts. Next be sure to thank any friends, family or vendors who went above and beyond to help with the wedding. After that, it’s nice to acknowledge your parents for their role. And last but not least, be sure to thank your spouse for marrying you!
My last piece of advice for the Thank You speech is to stand next to each other, even if only one of you is speaking. This is your opportunity to address your guests as the newly formed family unit that you are.
If well thought out, the speech part of the evening can be one of the most beautiful and memorable parts of your wedding. We hope this guide sets you up for success!