How to Choose Your Wedding Party

Photo Credit: Emily Turner

WEDDING PARTY HISTORY

I don’t know about you, but I love learning the history behind things. Since we are talking about wedding parties today, here are a few interesting facts regards to the role of bridesmaids and groomsmen throughout history. During Roman times, 10 witnesses were required to be in attendance during the ceremony. In the 16th century, German Goth “groomsmen '' were in charge of kidnapping the bride, either against her parent’s wishes or outright - yikes. In Victorian times, bridesmaids dressed like the bride- white dresses with veils and it was considered lucky to be a bridesmaid, unless you had been a bridesmaid more than three times. It wasn’t until the early 20th century that the tradition of bridesmaids and groomsmens became what it is today.

WEDDING PARTIES TODAY

Luckily, today the role of being in the wedding party is a little bit more lighthearted. Primarily the job of the wedding party is to support the couple on the wedding day by get ready with them and standing by their side during the ceremony on the wedding day. Other obligations include hosting bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties.

THINGS TO CONSIDER

As much fun as it is to hang out with all your favorite friends on your big day, it is super important to consider several things.

Photo Credit: Keani Bakula

First of all, weddings are emotionally charged events to plan. It is incredibly important to think through what you expect from your wedding party before asking them to participate. For example, if you want your friends to plan bachelor and bachelorette parties, you want to make sure this is something they want to do and will be able to follow through on. If all your friends have crazy busy jobs or are broke college students, assigning them these tasks could be a recipe for disappointment. There is nothing worse than losing a friend during the wedding planning process because you weren’t on the same page about expectations. 

Second, you also want to consider how emotionally supportive they will be on the wedding day. I’ve experienced so many weddings where the bridesmaids and groomsmen were excited to drink and listen to loud music, while the bride or groom just wanted to take the time to feel centered and experience the anticipation. 

Regardless of how you want to feel on your wedding day, make sure to choose a wedding party that will meet your expectations and be emotionally supportive.

Another thing to consider is the additional expenses that come along with a wedding party. Most couples don’t think about this until they start to explore costs for wedding attire, stylists, flowers and gifts. You may really want to pay for all of these things for your wedding party, but they can get very costly. The average suit rental or bridesmaid dress is $200 each, the cost of hair and makeup for each bridesmaid is typically $150 and each bridesmaid bouquet runs around $130. Although you can ask your wedding party to pay for some of it, it would be difficult to expect them to shell out for everything.

Photo Credit: Taimane Kini

TRENDS THAT WE LOVE

Mismatched Attire

Basically this is when the couple invites the wedding party to find their own dress or suit in a length, color spectrum or style that they designate. What is so great about this is that everyone is able to choose something that is flattering on them versus trying to make one style work for different body types. Also, when the couple gives their wedding party the flexibility to choose something for themselves, they are more likely to wear it again AND it is more socially acceptable to have the wedding party pay for it themselves.

Pets In the Wedding Party

Now that most couples are choosing to live together before getting married, many of them have fur babies. We absolutely love when our clients choose to incorporate them into the wedding party. We’ve seen plenty of dogs make awesome flower girls and ring bearers. Although less cooperative and less likely to walk down the aisle, cats are great to get ready with. 

No Wedding Party

The last trend that we’ve seen becoming much more the norm, is not having any wedding party at all! For some couples, they don’t want to obligate their friends to have to host parties and purchase wedding attire for one day. Others simply don’t want to make any of their friends feel left out by only asking a few. I think one of the main reasons though is that a lot of couples are each other’s best friend and being able to stand up there simply to support each other is all they need. 

If you are worried that some of your friends might feel left out, you can always ask them to get ready with you. You could also ask them to perform another important role in the wedding like doing a reading during the ceremony or participating in the toasts. 

If you have any feedback or trends to contribute, we would love to hear about them in the comments below.